Alana Clark Photography

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#wcw My friend @sueginnetti 💗 She’s brilliant, witty, gorgeous, passionate and so very brave. She inspires me daily. This photo was taken for @lillypulitzer spring fashion for Currents magazine.

Walked the length of the beach today, saw a Bald Eagle flying and at the end found a forest of ice. The walk back was brutal with the wind, and I was numb by the time I got back to my car, but it was well worth any discomfort. 😄

Things That Cannot be Taken is part of my first solo gallery show which opens next week which mostly features pieces from my Art of War for the Caregiver series.

Today marks the last day I spent with my mother, nine years ago. My mother and I had a strange relationship marked with confusion and distrust on my part and utter loss with what to do with me on hers along with a deep running wound of regret. What is probably the best summation is a conversation we had one day while I was taking care of her later in her illness. "Alana, I'm sorry" "For what?" "I was thinking about your childhood and you were invisible. I shoved you off to the side. I never acted as a mom to you and then I left. You were my invisible child. It wasn't ok". "It's ok. I've forgiven you for all of that" "But I never apologized for any of it". "Ok. We're good. You did the best you could at the time with what you had, and I know you were lost then. Also, If you keep talking I will cry" (this was when I was convinced that if I cried in front of anyone I would self destruct or something) She said "You should try doing that. It might be helpful". It was. While she dropped the mom ball a good bit with me she was an amazing mom for my brother. She had a good period of sobriety at that point and was highly present with him. She was also a single mother. Sometimes the car wouldn't start and she'd say "Well. Guess it's plan b" and bundle up (I always remember this happening in the winter) my brother and herself and push him in his stroller to daycare and then walk herself to work, which was a couple of miles. She worked hard, got her chemical dependency counseling license, bought the house she rented, bought a new car. For years she worked as a counselor for homeless men, which was her true calling.

Hodge in an apple tree. 😍 From a few years ago. Now his ears are a bit tattered because he always finds a fight to start. 🤦‍♀️

Dine and dash 😂

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